Today’s tip…record everything! Phone calls, video calls with kids, document times he picks up, times he drops off, any time he bails, etc. I decided to document all conversations with my ex after I left for many reasons. To name a few: he was abusive, had zero interest in being a father, and suffered from…
When Is the Right Time to Divorce?
Many people wait until the kids have left for college before they seek divorce. There are also the occasional ones that fight to stick with it for as long as they can but end up divorcing when the kids are somewhere between 6 and 10 years old. A lot of parents think it’s tough on…
Six Weeks of Divorce!
From what I’ve read, there are two major times during the year when divorce filings increase: January and August. The first week in January is an active time because many couples are spending a lot of quality time together over the holidays, which for the wrong match, could be unbearable. Therefore, all of this extra…
Wellness Check
I was disappointed when I filed for divorce. It was never what I imagined my life would look like. I felt like a failure, but not because I left him. Honestly, I felt empowered when I left because I finally found the courage to do so. But I felt like I failed when I chose…
Yin to My Yang
They say opposites attract. I couldn’t disagree more. I tried making it work with my opposite. In my defense, I had no idea he was polar opposite when I married him. He put on a good front. Right before I left him, he said several ridiculous things that still make my blood boil. You wouldn’t…
August 9, 2019
Do you remember the day you realized you were living a nightmare? I do…mine is August 9, 2019. This day last year was one of the lowest points in my life. I was about 8 months pregnant. I was working on my feet 9 hours a day, and coming home to a lazy man-child who…
It Takes a Village
My family was having a family get-together the day after I left my husband. I broke the news to my sister and brother-in-law that I moved out the night before and would be filing for divorce. That is when they learned of the emotional and verbal abuse that had been going on behind closed doors….
Mortality…My Worries as a Mama Are Endless
It’s been a while since I last posted. In the time of COVID-19, I feel like we’re all on edge. With the slightest symptom, we panic “RONA?!!” The truth is, I spend most days worried about my own mortality. I never thought it would be such an all-consuming fear. Have any of you single mama’s…
A Few of My Favorite Things
This month, my baby will be 9 months old. I can’t believe it. It’s gone so fast, yet it feels like there was never a time that I didn’t have my little one by my side. To mark the occasion, I’m revealing my absolute favorite items. Either I just loved it or it really helped…
The Grass Isn’t Always Greener
As I gazed into my sweet little girl’s eyes while nursing her, tears streamed down my face. All I could think about is how it’s all my fault that she was brought into this hell. She was only a month old when I realized that I cried nonstop, he yelled nonstop, and my baby too,…
Another Blessing Someday
Sequel to “To My Future Love…I’m So Sorry” I am the proud mommy to a sweet little girl. Like all moms, I would do absolutely anything for her and she can do no wrong. And because she’s so wonderful, I’d love another baby someday. The problem is…I’m single. Single and happy, but single. If…
Down the Rabbit Hole
Do you feel like you end up in someone’s life to build them up and they just drag you down? Not in an arrogant way like “I’m so great” but in an honest way. For example, I feel like my ex was floundering when I met him. He was about to drop out of graduate…
Just When You Think You’ve Done Enough, You Get Hit with Alimony
I never imagined that marrying someone with a PhD would leave me paying alimony. Good news is…I didn’t have to. The bad news is, you may have to. If you’re unfamiliar with this, alimony (spousal support) is a recurring payment that one spouse is required to pay the other spouse for a specific timeframe. This…
It’s Official…I’m Divorced!!!
It’s been a long time coming and it feels surreal to finally be free. I didn’t feel this happy on my wedding day, which is saying something. $20,000 in legal fees and 6 months later, I’m liberated. Isn’t it odd that to get married, all you need to do is purchase a little piece of…
The Storm of Emotions That Accompany Divorce
Dumper versus dumpee. This one hit me hard. Were you the one to leave or were you abandoned? If you’re anything like me, you may not have a definitive answer here. I left my husband and I filed for divorce, but somehow, I felt like I was dealing with emotions very different than the usual…
If You’re Going Through Hell, Keep on Going
If you know me at all, you know I’m motivated by music. I love music: country, classical, jazz, bluegrass, reggaetón, rock, doesn’t matter, I love it all. So naturally, I’ve titled this blog entry after one of my favorites by Rodney Atkins. “If You’re Going Through Hell” became one of my go-to songs early on…
To My Future Love… I’m So Sorry
Regret…I talk a lot about regret on my blog, because it’s been the all-consuming emotion that I’ve dealt with throughout this process. I’ve read in various sources that divorce is one of the most painful things you’ll go through in life. I would say it’s difficult and heartbreaking, but I can think of so many…
Where Was God?
Years ago, I dated an atheist and he asked how I could believe in God when so many terrible things happen to good people. To be honest, it took me off guard at the time. I really couldn’t answer it well, but I said “faith”. I hate that bad things happen to wonderful people. Or…
Black Roses
Have you ever heard the song “Black Roses” written by Lucy Schwartz and performed by Clare Bowen? When I first heard this song on an episode of the show Nashville back in 2014, I was moved in a way I can’t explain. Not only are the lyrics and music absolutely stunning, but Clare’s voice is…
A Narcissist’s Epiphany
I received an apology email from my estranged husband the other night. I filed for divorce almost 4 months ago and he finally gets it. He apologized for being selfish, hateful with his words, and an overall terrible husband (sort of). I couldn’t believe the words I was reading. With a narcissist, they rarely realize…