My baby girl was only a few weeks old when I realized my life wasn’t normal. Or at least what I felt was normal and what I longed for. Watching my sister and brother-in-law, I loved that they both always put my niece down for bed. Brush her teeth, read a story, and tuck her in. As I fed my sweet pea, swaddled her tight, and rocked her to sleep, I quietly cried realizing that even though I was married, I was very much alone in this. It was just the two of us. As I prepared for another very difficult, sleepless night with my precious angel, my husband laid in bed with a pillow over his head to drown out any possible noise from our new baby girl. The sad part was that even though I was completely exhausted, the most special moments happened in the wee hours of the night and he chose to miss it. She was absolutely precious during the midnight feedings and this is why I call it the “nighttime bliss”.
She was all smiles. Even at just a few weeks old, she’d be all gums gazing up at me as I fed her and talked with her. And then there was the occasional blowout that would not only take out her outfit, but my robe as well. So there we were, both of us stripping down, and doing laundry at 2 or 3 am. I’m sure my downstairs neighbor loved us. If you can relate to any of this, just know that being a new mom is so hard and you’re doing great, so hang in there. Don’t let his laziness and lack of help stress you out and cause you to not enjoy your little bundle of joy. That’s what I realized after a while…he was sucking the joy out of being a new mom. And if you see any of your own story in mine, ask yourself if you deserve better. Do you have the opportunity to leave and be better? Some women will not have this option and I completely understand that. But if you do and you are miserable, ask yourself if you’d be happier without him. Does he even help you around the house? If you already do everything, how is he adding value or joy to your life? I hope that I had an unusual situation. I pray that no one has lived through the hell I was dealing with.
If the man at the very least just made enough money so I could hire a housekeeper, that would’ve been enough for me to stay, MAYBE. But the reality is, I know my situation was still a fairytale compared to many. I understand the blessings in my life and that it could’ve been so much worse. I try to recognize the wonderful life I have and that’s what makes me so happy. I’ve always told my ex, if you focus on the negatives and have-nots in your life, you’ll be miserable. If you focus on your blessings, you’ll find joy and happiness.
Take today to reflect on all of your blessings. Even when life is tough, focus on all that you are blessed with. Maybe you’re blessed with the nighttime bliss as well. Today, I choose to focus on the fact that I have a precious little girl…now it’s just the two of us. It’s not what I always envisioned for my life, but it’s our little life and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
