My family was having a family get-together the day after I left my husband. I broke the news to my sister and brother-in-law that I moved out the night before and would be filing for divorce. That is when they learned of the emotional and verbal abuse that had been going on behind closed doors. They learned of the terrible ways he had treated my sweet baby and I. And they were horrified to learn that my ex cussed at my sweet baby when she was only 4 weeks old for not burping fast enough.
In the weeks before I left my husband, I struggled with two things. First, I worried that I wouldn’t be able to protect her if I left. If I stayed, I knew I could keep her safe at all times and never leave her alone with her father. Second, I was sad that I would be destroying her intact family. These are the only reasons I stayed as long as I did. I was trying everything in my power to maintain for her the childhood I was so lucky to have. But I finally realized that even if I stayed, she wouldn’t have my childhood. She’d be more likely to have it if I left and was single or if I found a man who would be kind and possibly a father figure for her. All she would witness if I stayed was a man who verbally and emotionally abused her mom, and potentially did the same to her because I don’t believe he can control it.
Later that day when my family gathered for good food and family time, I looked over at my brother-in-law who had just picked up my sweet 2-month old. He was holding her in a different way than I had seen before. He looked down at her as she slept in his arms and it was a look of concern and sadness. Like it was an attempt to provide my angel with support and security, likely what he knew she would need in her life after hearing how her father is/will be. He was looking at her differently, as though he was processing that this innocent baby will now be part of a broken home, living out of a suitcase for the next 18 years. I’ll never forget the sweet way he looked at her. In that moment, I realized that we will be okay. We have so much love and support around us. Even if her father can’t be there fully, the way real fathers are or if he drifts in and out when he needs to look good for his image, she still has stable, loving men in her life. Her uncle and grandfather love her so very much and that’s all I needed to know to feel like she’ll be okay.
I’d like to say a big thank you to all of the men out there who treat little ones (who may not be theirs biologically) as their own and make them feel special and loved. They are angels on Earth that these kids need. It takes a village to raise a child. I’d like to say a special thank you to two very special men in my life, and now in my baby girl’s life. Thank you to my dad and my brother-in-law for being such amazing, stand-up men. We are so blessed to know and love you both.❤️
