Where Was God?

Years ago, I dated an atheist and he asked how I could believe in God when so many terrible things happen to good people. To be honest, it took me off guard at the time. I really couldn’t answer it well, but I said “faith”. I hate that bad things happen to wonderful people. Or that cancer takes our loved ones or that a drunk driver may walk away without a scratch while the innocent person they hit dies at the scene. These are things I can’t control, nor can I explain why they occur. But I have faith because I know God is there for me. He always has been.

Then about a month ago, I saw a Pastor (who I will not name) interviewed where he was asked the same question. His answer made so much sense. I can’t remember word for word, but the general gist was that this isn’t Heaven on Earth. You find all good things in Heaven. But for now, this is Earth, it’s not perfect and bad things do happen. I’ve definitely had moments of despair where I wondered what I could have possibly done to end up here. I can’t believe I waited for so many years to find my perfect match and then find myself verbally and emotionally abused daily, only to divorce when my baby was two months old.

Maybe you’ve had these moments, where you ask “why me? Does God hate me or is he punishing me for something I’ve done?” I could dwell on the fact that life isn’t fair and that I wasn’t dealt a perfect hand. I COULD think that, but then I remember that God warned me many times. He gave me subtle clues all along the way to warn me of the person I was marrying and I chose to turn a blind eye. I tried very hard to see the good in my ex, not focus on his faults. No one is perfect, right? While this may be true, the faults God was pointing out were deal-breakers for me and went against my values entirely. While my ex lied during our entire relationship and pretended to be someone he wasn’t, there were little glimmers along the way that revealed his true identity. 

If you feel like God is warning you, pay attention. I saw the signs and didn’t pump the breaks. Now I’m trying to piece together my complicated mess of a life. For those of us who are stubborn ??‍♀️, God must take more drastic measures to teach us a lesson and these drastic measures generally have heftier consequences. While God guides us, he also gives us free will. So, if you ask me if I blame God for my messy situation, I’d say without doubt, absolutely not! One thing I know for certain is that God is always there guiding me and I know He has something wonderful in store for me. I just need to listen next time.