My baby’s father called tonight to cancel his parenting time with our little girl, AGAIN. His excuse this time…he may be coming down with a cold. He always comes up with these excuses. One of my favorites was when he said he hurt his back rearranging some stuff at his apartment. Generally, he pretends to be coming down with a “cold” when he wants to sleep and not be held accountable for helping around the house. And I know this because he’s only ever been “sick” for a day. After I got off the phone, I looked down at my sweet 4-month old, who was doing tummy time on her play mat. She looked up at me with the sweetest grin and looked back down at her toys. Then it hit me. I was so sad for her. This is what it’s going to feel like for the rest of my life if my little girl is picked on or mistreated.
It sounds so silly, but I felt like she was being picked on by her father. How could he not want to see her? I just don’t get it. She really is a wonderful baby, but he always returns her early when it’s his time with her. This is a pretty clear indication that he doesn’t want to spend time with her. And then I see her looking down at her toys and somehow, I feel like she too, is disappointed. I know she doesn’t know what’s going on. She has no idea that he’s cancelled again, but somehow she looks so pitiful, as if she knows.
My little one is only a few months old and I’m already concerned about the future. I am a pro at this. Even in my marriage, I found myself borrowing tomorrow’s problems. I felt like a fortune teller. I foresaw every single thing that occurred in my marriage…it all came true. I should head to Vegas and try out my fortune telling skills ? But honestly, I can’t imagine the pain I will feel when my little girl feels any pain. It’ll rip my heart out if she is teased, left out, mistreated, etc. So many heartaches may come her way and I have no way of shielding her from them. But what I can and will do, is raise her to be strong and resilient so she can persevere when life gets tough. I will be her guardian angel and do my best to protect her from as much pain as possible.
Teach your little ones to handle life, the good times and the bad. Teach them to be strong and accept that not everything will work out like a fairytale. But the good news is that no two days are ever the same. While today seems bleak and feels like it will never end, tomorrow will bring new light and more blessings.
