Today marks a special day for me. One year ago today, I left my husband and it was the best decision I ever made. It was a half hour before midnight on New Year’s Eve and he had been screaming at me and my two-month old for hours. The profanities he was yelling at me, the horrible things he was saying about me and my family, I finally had enough. I called my mom and she sent my dad right over to collect me and my baby. I knew I needed the protection of my dad because my then-husband would have never let me leave that night. There I was, 15 minutes to midnight. I had a bag packed with some essentials and I was on my way to a new and better life. I was ringing in the new year right….as a newly single mama.
Sometimes, New Year’s Eve can be so depressing. When we’re single and alone, all we think about is finding our soulmate, the love of our life, our hallmark Christmas movie ending. But the truth is, being with an alcoholic who is abusing you daily can make you feel far lonelier than being single. Sure, I was sad when I realized my marriage was over and my baby would grow up living out of a suitcase being passed between homes. But the alternative was far worse for her. She would be watching her father abuse her mother, as well as enduring it herself. She would be watching her mother tolerate it. Our children watch our every move so never feel like you have to stay in a bad marriage for their sake. They are happiest when their parents are happy and safe.
Personally, I’ve never been a huge New Year’s Eve fan. I’ve gone out with friends on occasion for the celebration. I’ve gone to fancy dinners with ex-boyfriends. However, it’s never been the holiday I’ve celebrated. This year is different. I’m celebrating my freedom. I’m celebrating that I had the guts to walk out and start over and I’ve never been happier. I’m no longer lonely. It could be that I have a very demanding and busy job, or a baby, or that we’re all living in a pandemic. I may just be too busy to be bored or lonely. Either way, I’m truly happy and I plan to celebrate tonight. Of course, I’ll be celebrating from home because COVID-19 is still a thing.
Happy New Year! Wishing everyone a safe and happy year. See you in 2021!
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