Is your ex the one that got away? Do you feel like you can’t stop thinking about him or her? Well, this isn’t that kind of story. For me, I feel humiliated that I ever dated my ex-husband. It feels as though my stock value plummeted once people saw me with him. I still remember the look some friends gave me once they met him. I should have paid closer attention to those subtle clues, but I just felt like he was nice. I don’t mean to be hurtful or shallow, he just isn’t the guy to turn heads. Despite that, I loved him anyways because I thought he was a kind person. Boy was I wrong. Not only is he unattractive, but he was downright abusive throughout our marriage. Therefore I don’t feel bad saying these things.
When you date someone or even marry them, but never have kids, you can pass it off as a non-physical relationship to save face. Maybe people will believe that you didn’t have a sexual relationship with them. ? BUT, if you had a child with them, everyone knows you let those fingers touch you. It can be humiliating if they’re not the Marlboro man. So, because I have a child with my ex, he can flaunt that I let him touch me and I will never be able to live that down.
Some friends still joke, “how? I mean how did you marry that.” Or “I don’t know how on earth you didn’t see all of the red flags slapping you in the face.” My response to these questions or remarks is always, “it was dark.” That’s all I can come up with to explain how I ever let those creepy fingers touch me. Anyone can be alright in the dark. This is the humor I choose to have in this situation. Anyone else feel this way…absolute humiliation? ?
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