The Bright Side of Divorce

I know what you’re thinking, there’s a bright side to getting divorced??? Yes, absolutely! While the process is brutal and seems like it’ll never end, there are many positives to look forward to in the end. In case you’re feeling down in the dumps today, these points will hopefully perk you up. We’ve all been there. Going through a divorce is said to be one of the most painful things you’ll ever experience and it’s only natural to have some good days, and some really bad days. To get you through those rough days, keep these points in mind:

1. If you’re reading this, you may be dealing with something unpleasant in your own marriage and you’re searching for answers on what you should do. If that’s true, it’s likely that you already know deep down that you would be happier without your spouse by your side. After divorce, you no longer have disagreements with your partner. At least not like you did. You will still likely butt heads when it comes to raising your children. If you didn’t, and you see eye to eye on everything, you’d likely still be married. But now, it’s minimal and you probably just won’t care what his/her point of view is because they’re no longer your problem. You no longer care what they’re doing or thinking because you’re free. It’s been such a relief for me. I felt every day was a battle and I didn’t really see it until a couple of months before I finally left my ex. I realized that I was stressed everyday wondering what personality he’d morph into each day. Who would I have to deal with this evening? It was exhausting so I’m much lighter and happier now that I don’t need to worry about his emotions and take the verbal abuse. 

2. If you have kids, you have a free babysitter every week! This is something I had to really want to see. I miss my sweet baby when she’s with her dad and I worry for her safety with him. But I’ve tried to handle this as well as I can and one way to do this is to get out there and date or hang out with friends when you don’t have your little ones. It’s tough to do this right now with the pandemic going on, but once we’ve moved through this tough time, use your time away from the kiddos to go get your hair done, go out with that guy you’ve been interested, do a girls night with the ladies, or hop in the tub with a glass of wine and a good book. See this as an opportunity to really enjoy ME time. So many moms who are married never get “me time”. They are constantly caring for their kids and spouse, so they don’t have a night off each week. See…the positive. It’s there, you just have to choose to see it, which I know is tough. ?

3. You will always be ecstatic to spend time with your babies. Because you won’t see them every day, days you do spend with them will be a treat. The kiddos will feel so much excitement from both parents because they are always awaiting their little ones with so much anticipation and joy.  

4. If you never liked his family or friends, or coworkers, or whoever in his life you used to tolerate, you are no longer required to deal with them. If it’s his parents for example, you may need to be mature and civil when seeing them at sporting events or anything that involves the children, but you don’t have to be overly nice. You don’t have to laugh at his dad’s goofy jokes, or display his mom’s junk when she clutters your house. You are free from having to grin and bear it. And for me personally, I hope to find someone who fits in my life better. Someone whose parents, family, friends, and coworkers have a lot in common with me, and I know it’ll be a better situation for us all. 

5. If you had a money-spending parasite like me (sorry…harsh, still a little bitter about this one), you can finally start saving and putting into your retirement. You can build up your nest egg and afford a home, travel wherever you want, or save for college for the kids. Whatever your heart desires. ?

6. You now have more flexibility with your daily activities. You can cook what you want, when you want. Maybe even have cereal for dinner one night when you don’t have the kids. You no longer have to bend over backwards for another adult and have his laundry done and dinner on the table every night. Just do you.

Those are the six positives that I choose to remember every day and I swear they really work. If you’re feeling down, I hope this perks you up. Go enjoy your day and remember, you’re better off alone than married to the wrong person. Stay strong all my single parents out there. ??